It is the most common sexual disorder in men younger than 40 years
Premature ejaculation has existed throughout time and the cause and best treatments have been debated. Back in 1917, the psychoanalyst Abraham, noted that it had to do with unconscious conflicts, and in 1934, Schapiro, a German endocrinologist, argued that the root of PE was psychosomatic.
Etiology aside, premature ejaculation, is the most common sexual disorder for men under 40. After working as a sex therapist at one of only a few international and national clinics devoted to sexuality training, I learned these 6 important things on how to manage early ejaculation once and for all.
1. Know that PE has a multifactorial origin, related to genetics, biology, hormones, urologic, intrapsychic, and relationship factors.
2. Seek medical attention from a multidisciplinary team to rule out any medical problems (thyroid, prostatitis) or to discuss the benefits of psychotropic medication, especially if you have lifelong PE.
3. Learn relaxation techniques, breathing exercises, coping skills — either to manage the stress you have from the PE and/or relationship problems that may arise, or to learn how to improve your low sexual esteem, or manage performance anxiety.
4. If you are in a relationship, assess whether you are repressing any form of conflict that may be manifesting in your sexual relationship, and be curious about exploring the meaning behind the PE, and in what context does the PE occur.
5. Communicate openly with your partner. Create an environment where you are able to share your sexual wants and needs
6. Create alternative definitions of what it means to have “great sex.” Consider adding other types of intimacy to your definition of sex, like cuddling, caressing each other, or holding hands naked. The point is to experience sensuality and pleasure, and let go of rigid definitions.
Most importantly, find a safe space to discuss your concerns. From my experience, you might be feeling to ashamed to ask for help, but it may be the essential step for your recovery. Remember that sexual difficulties are common, that there is nothing wrong with you. The most important thing is to find a safe space to discuss your concerns.
A version of this article was originally published on March 23, 2017 in La Raza newspaper. Here is a link to the Spanish version: https://laraza.com/2017/03/23/tips-combatir-eyaculacion-precoz/